JCVD

Green screen etc.

Time machine carrying capacity

Red smear memorials. Time travel in tiny, sweaty drug subs. It all comes down to laser machine guns.

Confederate gold

Get rich quick slowly schemes.

Smuggling from the past

Cost of moving mass through time. Burying your pilfered gold for pickup vs time traveling it to the present. Inefficient black market time travel business models.

Carbon dating

And how you can’t carbon date gold itself.

Depression Profiting

Sicilian grandmas. Skyrim health potions and time travel interest-compounding. Better investment plans:

1. Put money into savings account
2. …
3. profit
4. repeat

Making the future

Ugly self-driving cars. Greebles. Glue some crap to some crap and bam, you’re in the future.

Timecopping and paradoxes

Time loops. “The same matter can’t occupy the same space at the same time.” The indistinguishability of atoms of the same isotope. Quantum word soup. “Touching” by neutron star. The grandfather paradox where you bang your grandma. Ted Chiang anti-time loop deciphering advice. It’s not gay if you don’t touch and as a bonus you also don’t explode in paradox.

“I’m gonna live forever, hahaaaa”